A recent AP headline induced what could only be described as a Pavlovian response in the salivary glands of the staff in the WTW newsroom, which is really saying a lot as the usual tonality around the water cooler is somewhere between lackluster and a dull pessimistic hum. And with a rabid fervor(read "mild feigning of interest") this reporter took it upon himself to bring this story to the presses. Although this agency has a general distaste for the established social institutions, it is also of the opinion albeit begrudgingly, that some but certainly not all are one of life's necessary evils. Let's say for example, that you are involved in accident with one of the earths lowest forms of scum, the man with no insurance. Unfortunately for you no matter who you call you won't have much recourse against the asshole who hit you but you still have the problem of your now leaking not so mobile auto blocking the middle of a busy intersection, but fear not for the police, or the fire department, or the ambulance, or possibly all three will show up on your tax dime to wipe up the mess.
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| Society's biggest threat? |
The police are also good for lots of other things, like showing up to your black tie affair and asking the cellist to turn it down a few notches, or sitting outside of a local old folks home poised to give out a rash of seat belt citations. All of these are important services that we certainly could not do without, and apparently the police have took it upon themselves to provide the citizens with a new crucial service. Cavity Searches. Oh yes you read correctly cavity searches are now being provided free of charge to all parents who are unlucky enough to have children that know what guns are. A man was arrested at an elementary school last week upon arriving to pick up his daughter. The charge, possession of a firearm (which at last I checked was legal and even more staggering one which he did not possess). The cause, the daughter drew a picture of a gun during class.
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| Assume the position Evil Doer !!! |
Now you might be thinking "So what? Kids must draw pictures of guns all the time." and you'd be right considering the flagrant inundation of guns in today's popular culture. Kids cant watch a pixar movie or play a video game without exposure to gun violence. But without even for a moment considering the aforementioned facts our teacher takes her "morality" and thrusts it upon social services to deal with as a "serious concern". Follow chain of command through what must appear as a way to nosy teacher to a heinously overweight no kids of her own I know whats best for everyone social worker, through to the actual officer who upon not finding the firearm in question, felt it would be a good idea to insert his finger into another mans rectum (because that is the most likely spot for a gun to hide). And all of this good fortune befell this man for committing the ungodly offence of sending his child to school. It would seem to me that this guy should count himself lucky that his daughter wasn't drawing pictures of WMD's. Let's break it down, number of people who need to mind their own business 3 points(1 point each), abuses of a position of authority 4 points, making a child feel responsible for her dad getting hauled off in a squad car 4 points, and finally asking another man to lift his scrotum and bend over 7 points.
Final Score 18/20
